Crazy

MICHAEL: Just a couple of horndogs looking for a place to make out. I mean, we don't need that. We got my apartment, you know?

ISABEL: I guess I'll just have the special.
MICHAEL/MARIA: Uhh...we're closing early.

TOPOLSKY: You're in danger, all of you.
MAX: What are you talking about?
TOPOLSKY: The best way to protect yourselves is to just act like normal kids.
MAX: We are normal kids.

MARIA: Oh, Michael. Max.
MICHAEL: What?

ALEX: Would that be, you know, alien normal, or just plain "we're the subjects of an FBI manhunt" normal?

MICHAEL: Let me remind you, Liz, that you believed her the first time, too.

ALEX: Where would you be if Liz and I didn't stick our necks out to expose her?

LIZ: She seemed like she was just as scared for herself as she is for us.

MAX: We're normal teenage kids.

ALEX: So, ah, you've noticed them, too, huh? Liz and Max and Michael and Maria.
ISABEL: It's kind of hard not to with all the face-sucking going on.

ISABEL: You're the new girl, right?

TESS: Well, the guys are usually nice because they want to jump my bones. And the girls are usually nice because they want to find out if I want to jump their boyfriends' bones.

ISABEL: We have an eraser room.
TESS: Thanks for the warning.

MICHAEL: So, now she says what we've got isn't good enough. She wants more.
MAX: You mean like...
MICHAEL: No. If that's what she wanted, would I be here talking to you?

MICHAEL: I just want to make her happy. And you're gonna tell me how to do it.
MAX: It's not like there's a handbook.

MAX: Try taking her out...someplace nice. And, uh, surprises...they love surprises. Like, you know, little things, like a note in her locker, or a flower in the middle of the day.

MAX: Who are you?
ISABEL: She's my friend.
MICHAEL: How come we've never met her before?
ISABEL: God, Michael, could you be any more rude?

MARIA: Just give me the flowers. Go. No tip.

MARIA: Oh hey, Gidget, you got some flowers from Moondoggy.

LIZ: Why are you following us? We haven't done anything wrong.
TOPOLSKY: You can play that game all night, or you can listen to me and maybe save all of our lives.

LIZ: Where have you been all of this time?
TOPOLSKY: To hell.

TOPOLSKY: And he will stop at nothing to get what he's looking for.
LIZ: What is he looking for?
TOPOLSKY: Max Evans...and anyone he thinks is involved with him. All six of your names are on that list.

TOPOLSKY: You have to believe me.
LIZ: I believe you.
TOPOLSKY: I knew you would.

LIZ: It's not just about you guys anymore, ok? Maria, Alex, and I...we're on that list, too. I think that we should just all have a say in all of this.
MAX: What list?

LIZ: Alex, I mean, she was so scared. I've never seen anyone that scared before.
ALEX: Taken a look at me lately?

LIZ: No, Michael. It's not three and three anymore. It's the six of us now. We need to start making our decisions that way.

ISABEL: God, if you think you can even begin to understand what it's like to be us in this situation.
MAX: I think we're all a little on edge right now, Isabel.

MARIA: If you guys feel that strongly about it, who are we to tell Topolsky anything about you?

VALENTI: You're finally admitting the FBI's investigating these kids.

TOPOLSKY: Did you really think you could kill Everett Hubble and not send up a red flag?

TOPOLSKY: I was the first agent to make direct contact with...with the subject. I spent four weeks being debriefed by the agent in charge. His name is Pierce. And after what he did to me, I'd hate to see how he'd treat the enemy.

VALENTI: So, the FBI thinks that Max Evans is an alien. Why don't they swoop in and pick him up?

TOPOLSKY: Why don't you try asking your friend Agent Stevens what happened to him when he tried to get out? Pierce made an example out of him for the rest of us. Piece... by piece.

MICHAEL: Yeah? Well, you can't rush an Eclipse.

MARIA: I'm not gonna settle for the Saturn Rings anymore. If you want me, you have to earn me.

VALENTI: No, I'm just saying that a guy like you needs to be careful, that's all.

VALENTI: I'm the law. Now, most normal teenage boys might think of me as the enemy... always cracking down on them, waiting for them to make a mistake. But on the other hand, I'm here to protect them. Just like I protected you from Hubble the other night.

VALENTI: Anybody bothers you or one of your friends, you let me know. All right? But you don't need to worry. You're just a kid going about your daily routine.
MAX: I've heard that a lot lately.
VALENTI: Well, that's probably good advice, then.

ALEX: Oh, whoa! Peep shows!
MARIA: Ooh, Alex. Don't worry. It's nothing you haven't seen before.
ALEX: Ah, well, don't be too sure.

MARIA/LIZ: Hated it.

ALEX: Great. Everyone's invited but me.

MARIA: Shampoo.
MICHAEL: Shampoo and conditioner in one.
MARIA: It's a real timesaver.

ALEX: You think I'm being weak because I don't want anything bad to happen to you?

ISABEL: You really do want to protect me, don't you?
ALEX: I'd do anything.

ALEX: Everything gets easier once you're not alone.

ALEX: How about starting slow, huh? A video date? Notting Hill. It's a great chick flick.

TESS: Girl's night.
ALEX: Guess I've got the wrong hormones for that.

PIERCE(?): Don't worry. I'm on your side. Get in the car.

VALENTI: Hitchhiking's never a good idea.

MICHAEL: What did I do now?
MARIA: Michael, you have no table manners, and all you do is talk about yourself, and you have absolutely no regard for anyone else around you.

MICHAEL: If I'm such a loser, then why do you want to be with me?

TOPOLSKY: So if I bring you the other one, if I risk my life for you...I need to know that you will take me with you when your people come to get you.
MICHAEL: You're crazy.

ALEX: It's not what he said. It's how he said it. And how he knew to be there. It's like he's on our side or something.

MAX: There are five people in the world that I trust, and you're all standing right here.

MICHAEL: If anything happens, I mean, to me, I just want you to know that...
MARIA: I know.

ISABEL: I hope you don't mind, I mean, just hanging out for awhile. I didn't want to be alone tonight.
ALEX: Me neither.

MARIA: What are you doing with the orb? Where are you going with it?

MARIA: I'm going.
MICHAEL: No!
MARIA: Hello, Sheriff? Hi. My car's been stolen.

MARIA: I don't think this is such a good idea.

MICHAEL: She knew what the orb was.
MARIA: It had the symbol on it. She could've just been guessing.

MARIA: Pull over. Let me out.
MICHAEL: I can't leave you out in the middle of nowhere!
MARIA: Fine, then take me back! Ok. I'm not kidding. You can't make me go through with this. You can't put me in danger like this. Not if I don't want to go!

ALEX: Look, I don't get it. I mean, why would he go and do this after we all agreed?
ISABEL: Because he's Michael.

MICHAEL: This is not your decision to make! This is mine.
MARIA: It's not just about you! What you do affects me. That's how relationships work, and whether you like it or not, we are in a relationship! OK, so go ahead and just hate me, but I'm not gonna let you get hurt. Alright? I care about you too much.
MICHAEL: Maria, I have been waiting for this my whole life.
MARIA: So have I!

MICHAEL: You killed her, and now you're here to kill us?

VALENTI: This man is from Bethesda, Maryland. His name is Dr. Malcolm Margolin. He stopped by my office this morning.

VALENTI: I checked it all out. The doctor is who he says he is, and Topolsky spent the last month in a mental hospital.

MARGOLIN/NASEDO: So please, no more late night trips to the middle of nowhere. Anything could be out here, and I'd hate to see any harm come to you on our account.

MAX: We'll come back for it.

MAX: Nice job, Michael.

PIERCE(?): Good work, Agent Topolsky. You led me right to them.